Usage Goofs--Columnist Shares Bloopers with Readers

Birmingham News columnist Kathy Kemp shared several bloopers with her readers in this morning's newspaper as she signed off for 2007 and wished everyone a Happy New Year. We can all benefit from reminders about how easy it is to confuse similar words in the English language.

Here are some of Kathy's examples:

1. "...years ago,...I wrote a story about an elderly couple who had built a regulation croquet field in their backyard. Throughout the article, though, I used the word 'crochet,' a different pasttime altogether."

2. "I wrote about the 'genteel' members of an elite men's club, but spelled it 'gentile,'....

3. Kathy says she's also written about "Parkay (parquet) floors" and "equine" (aquiline) noses.

Kathy pointed out that she strives to be accurate and, as a loyal reader even back in the old Post-Herald days, I can testify that Kathy's bloopers have been extremely few and far between. Hope yours will be, too.

Who? Whom? Today's "Gotcha" Grammar Glitch

Using WHO and WHOM correctly is not too difficult if you already grasp the concept of subject spot in a sentence or clause as opposed to object spot in a sentence or clause.

Simply put, use WHO in the subject spot or WHOM in the object spot. The trick, of course, is to be sure you figure out which is which.

Chanda Temple Guster forgot this concept when she wrote a short review of Jenny Levin's new book of practical fashion advice from Harper's Bazaar magazine. Describing Levin, Chanda wrote the following:

Levin, whom today is a freelance writer living in Hong Kong, also addresses how to look fabulous at any age....

Whoops! In this sentence, the choice should be WHO because "who" is in the subject spot with "is" as its verb. There are two clauses here, and EACH ONE needs its own subject.

Levin also addresses how to look fabulous at any age.
...who is today a freelance writer living in Hong Kong...

Even when you combine these into one sentence, the inserted clause still needs the subject form WHO. The sentence should read as follows:

Levin, who today is a freelance writer living in Hong Kong, also addresses how to look fabulous at any age....

I hope this helps you keep the WHO and WHOM issue straight. And here's hoping the New Year finds you looking and feeling fabulous at whatever age you take on in 2008!

MESSAGE BOARD STILL OUT OF AGREEMENT

The "Driver's Side" column in The Birmingham News yesterday morning carried a comment from Jimmy McAlister of Irondale. He had also noticed the incorrect grammar on the DOT sign on I-459, which continues to read:

SEATBELTS SAVES LIVES.

Jimmy wrote, "Once again, we should all thank ALDOT (Alabama Department of Transportation) for the timely driver's information they provide. During the December 15 tragic wreck on I-459 south near Acton Road, the information sign about a mile before US 280 read: 'Buckle Up! Seatbelts Saves (sic) Lives.' If drivers cannot get any timely information on accidents to help alleviate congestion on the highway, would it be too much to ask ALDOT to at least use proper English on the generic information they provide?"

How true, how true! I was one of the unfortunate people who spent almost two hours sitting on I-459 just past US 280 on Saturday morning, December 15. The accident was indeed tragic, and missing my grandson's basketball game was a small price compared to the loss of life in that accident. However, the situation was a PERFECT example of where an information board with TIMELY and RELEVANT information could have saved many, many people from choking the highway.

In addition, the State Highway Patrol told my son that a sign had been posted on Highway 280 telling people not to enter I-459 at US 280 because of a fatality wreck. If there was a sign, I was one of several hundred drivers who did not see it. The ensuing snarl, including people making U-turns and trying to go back UP the on ramp while others were still trying to come down, was ridiculous. One patrol car, with blue lights flashing, sitting across that ramp, would have been a simple, common sense solution.

But I'm off message. Grammar is still important to professional image, and we hope ALDOT will fix that sign soon to read:

SEATBELTS SAVE LIVES.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE, AND MAY NONE OF YOUR SENTENCES BE RUN-ON!

Agreement (again!) Today's Grammar Glitch

While driving around completing last minute Christmas errands yesterday, I looked up from Interstate 459 to see the following reminder on one of those digital message boards:

SEATBELTS SAVES LIVES.

A quick reminder to the DOT: Please put the "s" on the noun to make it plural, but leave the "s" off the verb to make it plural.

Hopefully, the next time I venture onto I-459, this message board will read correctly, as follows:

SEATBELTS SAVE LIVES.

Remember: You can't have the "s" on both the noun and the verb.

Meanwhile, Merry Christmas, Everyone! And I DO hope you will wear your SEATBELTS and SAVE lives during this holiday season!

Verb Consistency--Today's "Gotcha" Grammar Glitch

Verbs should reflect the time frame. If you are talking about the past, ALL the verbs used should be in the PAST TENSE. If you are talking about the present, the verbs referring to that time frame should be in the PRESENT TENSE. You only mix them if you want to show a change in time frame.

A good example of this grammar glitch appeared in The Birmingham News this week--on the front page--in an article about coal mine blasting damaging people's homes:

They (the homeowners) didn't in most cases move into the neighborhood of the mine knowing what was going to happen. The mine moves into their neighborhood.

Because the blasting is already occurring, we can assume that the mines MOVED into the neighborhood IN THE PAST, but as written, this sentence does not reflect that time relationship. It should read as follows:

They didn't in most cases move into the neighborhood of the mine knowing what was going to happen. The mine MOVED into their neighborhood.

By changing "moves" to "moved," we achieve the correct time frame.

Apostrophe Issues--Today's "Gotcha" Grammar Glitch

While driving down to the Gulf Coast last week to do a workshop for State of Alabama employees, I noticed this sign along the highway:

PSYCHIC READING'S BY NANCY DIVINE

I did not stop and ring Miss Divine's doorbell to let her know that her sign was grammatically incorrect, but I will use this example to remind you that THE APOSTROPHE IS NOT USED TO MAKE A WORD PLURAL. It is used to show possession, as in "Nancy Divine's Psychic Readings." Her sign should read:

PSYCHIC READINGS BY NANCY DIVINE

While on this subject, I might also mention the cute little plaster pig on my own doorstep. Because of a family story, the person who gave it to me decorated it with a small silver name plate that reads:


COOK'S PIG FARM

Last time I checked, there were TWO of us living here who are named "Cook." Therefore, the "s" should come first, to indicate plural (two people), followed by the apostrophe to indicate that our zero-lot-line pig farm is owned by both of us. The name plate should read:

COOKS' PIG FARM

And before we leave this apostrophe subject, I will also mention an article from Associated Press that appeared in many newspapers this morning. It was about activists around the world rallying to combat global warming. The first sentence in the second paragraph reads as follows:

From costume parades in the Philippines to a cyclist's protest
in London, marches were held in more than 50 cities around
the world to coincide with the two-week U.N. Climate Change
Conference....

This sentence makes it sound as if one lonely cyclist in London went out on his own, all by himself, to protest global warming problems. If you read the entire article, however, you find that many cyclists participated in the protest rally. Therefore, the sentence above should read as follows:

From costume parades in the Philippines to a CYCLISTS'
protest in London, marches were held in more than 50 cities
around the world....

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE APOSTROPHE GOES AFTER THE "S" IF THE "S" IS USED TO MAKE THE WORD PLURAL.

THE APOSTROPHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAKING THE WORD PLURAL. IT SHOWS ABOVE THAT THE PROTEST IN LONDON BELONGED TO THE CYCLISTS.