Custom Search

Thursday, May 7, 2009

PRONOUN--Be sure the reader understands which noun it replaces!




Pronouns are good writing tools. You can mention a noun and then use a pronoun to refer back to it several times, BUT you cannot insert another noun between the pronoun and the noun it refers to. If you do, your reader will not be sure which noun is being replaced.


Here is a good example of this problem as it occurs in a wonderful new novel called Mudbound (Algonquin Paperbacks). I've highlighted the subject nouns in these two sentences in red and the pronoun in blue:

His hands were strong-looking and finely made, and the nails wanted cutting. I was struck by their stillness, by the way they remained folded calmly in his lap or planted on either side of his plate....

I believe the author, Hillary Jordan, is picturing Henry's HANDS folded calmly in his lap or planted on either side of this plate--not his NAILS. However, as you read along, it sounds as if the fingernails (the noun closest to the pronouns "their" and "they") have jumped off his hands and are doing their own thing.

A better and clearer wording would be as follows:

His hands were strong-looking and finely made, and the nails wanted cutting. I was struck by the stillness of his hands, by the way they remained folded calmly in his lap or planted on either side of his plate,...

Mudbound is definitely a good read. It won the Bellwether Prize for fiction, so you might want to check on it.

No comments: